ransvestia

having no real choice, I called him. He agreed to come and pay the $100 bond in return for a check for $150.

The bondsman arrived, after what seemed an eternity, paid $100, and told me to come with him. The humiliation actually intensified when I reached his car and found that he had brought along his girl- friend. She seemed fascinated by my appearance and couldn't under- stand why a man wearing women's clothing was breaking the law. She, like the others, asked whether I was homosexual and, although I was sick of answering it by this time, I again explained that a trans- vestite was not necessarily a homosexual.

I was driven to my car and then followed to the motel where I wrote a $150 check to the bondsman. He told me that the $100 bond would take care of the charges and, unless I hoped to reduce the fine, I was not required to appear in court. Naturally, I decided not to appear.

The next day, after trying to behave as normally as possible through the conference I was attending, I disposed of all my femme attire and vowed that I would never again dress in anything other than male clothing.

For an entire week, I apprehensively read the daily newspapers published in the city looking for an account of my arrest. Thank God, nothing ever appeared. I had gotten off without anyone who actually knew me finding out.

I kept my vow for three of the past five years. Then I could no longer contain my desires to dress up. Until very recently, however I wore only lingerie very discreetly under my male clothing. Finally, as the enclosed self-made photos show, I decided to go "all the way" again. When I dressed completely for the first time since that awful night five years ago, the feeling of exhiliration and freedom was as overpowering as I remembered it to be the first time I tried on my mother's dress.

I don't have the courage to "go out" dressed as I once did, but the urge is certainly there. I recognize now that going out undetected in public while dressed as a woman was a way to gain acceptance of my borrowed gender.

For this reason, I would like to apply now for membership in FPE